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arabella87 Aug. 26, 2004 -- 11:40 p.m. |
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| arabella87 First off I'd just like to say I'm sorry that this took so long, andreviews will probably be much slower now that the summer is over. I have classes and drama I ought to be paying attantion to. Mmkay. Let's get started. Username - Sucks. The end. Game over. You lose. That is what you get for having numbers. First Impression - Look at that, nothing is capitalized. Yay. Errors - See above. Other errors include [but are not limitied to] : the iMood and your rings page. The rings page you can fix by changing your codes, instead of just using the ones they give you. Some of the pictures and crap are too big for your tables and that's why it looks like shit. You use apostrophes really fucking sporadically, too. Work on using them consistantly. The apostrophe is our friend. 5/10 Layout - It's okay. I find I'm not so fond of dark backgrounds or the color red anymore, but I won't penalize you for that. Today. I guess you took a base layout and edited it. That's good. I like that you're honest and left credit. 17/20 Content - Started here. Nonsensical, but I'm in no position to complain. Again with the lack of sense. "i have absolutely nothing to write about. my life is so empty at the moment. so empty, in fact, that i have nothing to do but write about my nothing. do me a favour, wont you? like, put me down or something." I don't think any comments are necessary. I've read through a few entries. You haven't really said anything. It's all "i'm bored and it's summer and stuff." type of crap. I hate that. When something interesting does happen to you, or when you're feeling something, you don't five into it at all. You write a couple of lines like "tonight i am going to see him. what was i thinking?" and it's completely pointless. You haven't said anything deep or profound, you've just... told us that you're meeting some guy. And that you're nervous. We don't know who this guy is, or why you don't want to see him, just that... he's a guy. That you are not looking forward to seeing. Aww, look, you got drunk. I FUCKING HATE THAT. AUGH. Stupid fucking teenagers. Running around getting drunk and being... stupid teenagers. Fuck. You might consider putting a at the end of this entry. So it doesn't, you know, cross out EVERYTHING ON THE DAMN PAGE. This shit you crossed out there was okay. Until you crossed it out. Eh. I'm tired today. See above for comments. A quick recap: capitalization is good, explaining feelings and not just events [show, don't TELL] is good, and being sober is good. Seriously. Cut that shit out. Getting drunk is not as original as you think it is. You, of course, refers to everyone out there between the ages of ten and twenty five. Just thought I'd specify. You get twelve points because you didn't make me want to go on a mass killing spree like that last chick. Holy god. 12/65 Would I Come Back? - Probably not. Sorry. 0/5 Bonus - You are kind of cute. Even though you say you aren't because you're a tpyical fucking teenager that hates herself. YAY!!!! +1/5 Total - 32/100. You might want to give us an about you page or something, so new readers have some sort of background on you and know what the fuck you're talking about. A seperate page to keep your pictures on would be good too, like a page that links to the entries with pictures in them or something. Capitalize, kill the iMood, explore your feelings [Christ, I feel like fucking Dr. Phil] and request a re-review. I don't think you're completely retarded [as far as writing goes] just yet. Reviewed by Amanda | ||
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