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bree.diary-x Jul. 16, 2004 -- 4:16 p.m. |
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| bree.diary-x Username - An alias. Whoop-dee-do. First Impression - You don't capitalize AT ALL EVER, the first entry I see is about your boyfriend, and you changed your layout. You're off to a great start here. Errors - NO CAPITALIZATION. Other than that, you just have shitty grammar sometimes, like saying "pajama's" instead of "pajamas". Pajama is not a person, and nothing belongs to Pajama, so you don't put an apostrophe before the s, mmkay? That's actually a serious pet peeve for me. Oh dear sweet Jesus, I just used the term "pet peeve"... 4/10 Layout - I'm going to review the gray one because you FUCKING CHANGED IT MID REVIEW. That's a big no-no. I don't like the fact that the links to get from one entry to a previous entry, or the next one, are hidden at the bottom and put around the archives link. It feels unorganized. You might want to move the "next" and "last" links to the end of the entry. Also, the gray table isn't completely closed in with a border. That bothers me for some reason. But hey, I'm anal like that. 12/20 Content - The fact that you don't capitalize seriously turned me off of your diary. The fact that you're a cutter [or were a cutter.. whatever] also turned me off. In fact, I don't think I found one thing about your diary that I really liked. Your entries are angst-filled and almost always about your boyfriend... "Oh god, I love him!" "Oh wait, just kidding." "We're going to break up!" It gets really fucking tedious. The way you write really isn't anything special. You start sentances with "but" and "although" and "and" frequently. Once in a while is okay, and I shouldn't bitch because I do it too, but fuck that. It bothered me. Find more interesting ways to start sentances, yo. This bothered me. You had a good entry going, until you mentioned 50 First Dates. Put that daily bullshit in a seperate entry or something. That's pretty gay. Don't focus on being "different", focus on being yourself, jesus. And I'm allowed to make fun of you for that because that was only two weeks ago. Bahahaha. Anyway, suggestion time. Stop the unnecessary angst crap, find some different ways to start sentances, START CAPITALIZING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, and... I dunno. Mug a clown. Write about that. Then you'll be pretty much good to go. 27/65 Would I Come Back? - Merg. 0/5 Bonus - ... Merg. +0/5 Total - 43/100. Don't take it personally. Reviewed by Amanda | ||
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