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gloryfades13 Nov. 06, 2004 -- 8:17 p.m. |
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| gloryfades13 Username - You were either on crack when you picked it, or trying to purposely piss me off. First Impression - Oh, Jesus fuck. Errors - You have forty fucking people on your cast list. FORTY. AND ALL OF THEM ARE YOU BEST FRIENDS FOREVER OMG LOL WTF?!!?!!!111one!!!three!!!!1!1111 What the fuck is wrong with you? Also, the cartoon chick with the big tits there on your layout? That's an error. Why? Because I say so. You don't capitalize your titles. I fucking hate it when people don't do that. You also refer to your crush as "Boy", which I also happen to hate. Didn't that work out well. 5/10 Layout - I hate it. The only way that could scream "ANGST RIDDEN TEENAGER" anymore is if you had fucking Dashboard Confessional lyrics on there somewhere. Ooh, redeeming quality, it was self-designed. That's good, I guess, self design is awesome. But you might want to shoot yourself for good measure. 10/20 Content - We'll start here, since that seems like a good place to start and all. You talk about boy problems. Wow. I am so glad to be reviewing your diary, because really, I can't get enough of that typical I'm-in-love-with-someone-who-may-or-may-not-want-me-and-someone-else-is-in-love-with-me-but-I-don't-really-like-them-like-that-woe-is-me-whatever-shall-I-do? bullshit. No, really, I love it. Nothing makes me happier. "Fuck it. I hate my life." What in the fuck were you thinking whenyou requested a review? No, seriously, what the fuck? I'm sure I've said this before, but here it is again: unless I love you to tiny pieces, I have the attention span of a retarded fruit fly on crack while reading diaries. This, of course, applies to you, especially here. Do you know what I see when I read that? "BLAH BLAH BLAH EMO SHIT BLAH BLAH HALLOWEEN BLAH BLAH SOME STUPID SHIT ABOUT LIES TAHT EVERYONE HAS THOUGHT AND SAID AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER BUT I'M SAYING IT NOW FOR THE FIRST TIME FOR ME AND I AM AS DEEP AS A FUCKING PUDDLE". That is what I see. And it is pretty much accurate. "He's clogging my arteries with silence"? Let's take a moment and let the stupidity sink in. .... Done? Good. That doesn't even make any goddamn sense. There's a fine line between poetry and bullshit, and you, my friend, have violated that line with your gigantic penis of death. You leapt over that line in a single bound, and then kept on leaping just for the hell of it. Get the picture? Also good. "Seriously. I have the worst luck on the planet. First off, I had to go to SIX different stores just to find some dye. Then I dye it and it doesn't even work barely. I hate this." You're a twat, you know that? OH NOOOOOO. God forbid I have to go to several different stores so I can make a mockery of a stereotype that all of my words an actions describe. NEVER MIND THE FACT THAT THERE ARE SEVERAL THOUSAND CHILDREN IN AFRICA WHO DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK PURPLE HAIR DYE IS AND WOULD BE SHOCKED TO HEAR YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT SOMETHING SO GODDAMN TRIVIAL. Goddamit I hate people. You know what? I can't take this anymore. Your entries are long and pointless and I've seen not one iota of evidence that would suggest you're not a complete waste of oxygen. But try not to take that personally. After all, YOU know you're worth something, right? And really, that's all that matters. And oh man, that right there was such bullshit on my part. HA. You get seven points because "he's clogging my arteries with silence" made me laugh pretty goddamn hard. 7/65 Would I Come Back? - My arteries are clogged with screams of fear and pain. "OH GOD, NOT AGAIN!" "ANYTHING BUT THAT, PLEASE GOD, NO!" 0/5 Bonus - That is an awesome shade of blue. +1/5 Total - 23/100. Reviewed by Amanda | ||
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