Username - "lost+motion = I don't know where I'm going in life. I know everyone can relate to that." No further explanation on your stupidity is needed. You do pretty well all on your own.

First Impression - You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Errors - The diary in itself is an error. 0/10

Layout - "Sing to me a song of the stars," how about you sing to me a new fucking HTML code? Bad news, this one is. In theory, one could suppose this would be a good layout. In actuality, I would like to grab the fucking microphone and beat my skull in. The way it's spread all over the page just bugs the shit out of me. I noticed how you have your links and font color a certain gray in order to be seen over the stupid fucking microphone. This does not work. However, the headings for your links have a black background, which can be easily read. Do the same for the rest of your links and your font color. That could almost make the shit suitable. Almost. You didn't even make the fucking layout. 5/20

Content - I would like to apologize for such a long wait on your stupid review. I'm all for punctuality, but problems with my computer and problems with my not giving a flying fuck put a bit of a damper on it. Knowing that you could have possibly been checking the site every day, maybe even numerous times a day, anxiously awaiting for your review to pop up gives me slight satisfaction. As I'm sure most men (what?) I mean boys read your diary and fantasize about fucking your Vietnamese body; I read it and fantasize about you wanting a god damn review. Such vulgarity!

Read the "background check" first thing, just to get a sort of feel for your writing. This bothered me, "So far my life has been very, very ordinary...let's talk about my parents." Is this your fucking daddy's dairy? I thought it was a seventeen-year-old girl's diary, but hey, your dad wouldn't be the first male grown up to pretend such things. The bit about the war is interesting. Survey says: Elaborate on it. I enjoy reading of such traumatic events. Too bad nobody died, a true cause for disappointment.

That's a fucking laugh. Christ, you people.

Here you say, "I paid the price," for having dished out the diary link to some buddies of yours. I was going to crack some drama queen joke about that, but decided against it because I had to piss and forgot the joke. There would probably have been tears shed over it, anyway. How thoughtful I am.

What surprised me was the fact that I am catching a hint of intelligence in your writing. Granted, it's not mind blowing, but there are some semi-deep thoughts. Take this for example. The pondering over a word, while it walks on a very thin line, tends to lean on the deeper side. That was impressive, I dare say. I found that my opinion on you swayed at this point. Then, the fucking bullshit about MySpace or what the fuck ever came in. You almost had me, you bastard.

Stop. No, asswipe, I'm serious. Quit it. That shit is fucking ridiculous. There's potential in your writing that I'm seeing, and it tweaks with my fucking head at how stupid you are other times.

I'm done reading and linking entries. Here's what I have to say:

1. Improve your grammar. The shit is atrocious at times. They have classes for that sort of thing.
2. Make inserting ex boyfriends and Prince Charmings into your diary a last fucking resort. It's comical, not romantic.
3. War is neat. Continue to use it. Your family having been through one will work in your favor.
5. DO NOT under ANY circumstances daylog.
6. Last, but definitely not least, kill yourself. Things will be better in the long run.

I'll allow ten more points than I gave the last cunt I reviewed. Even then, I feel like a dipshit. 20/65

Would I Come Back? - Would I get beer? 0/5

Bonus - lostmotion is ten times better than babybea, I can at least give you that. +1/5

Total - Something witty and nasty should go here, but I've decided that I want spaghetti. 21/100


Reviewed by Jesse