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moretoknow Aug. 05, 2004 -- 8:15 p.m. |
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| moretoknow Username - It's... it's okay. Not good. Not bad. Mediocre. I might click it if it were in a list or something, but it doesn't really stick out or anything. It's not brilliantly witty. But it's also not PrInCeSzSz1934759cUtIePiE so I'm not committing mass murder just yet. First Impression - It'd a daisy! And a road! I like dasies and roads. The color's a little bland, though... Errors - Spelling and grammar occasionally. I wasn't going to say anything but it started to piss me off. See below. 8/10 Layout - I'm tellin' ya, can't go wrong with dasies and roads. Two great tastes that taste great together! Like pedophilia and anal rape. Or something. Credit to.. some place. Fuck it. I'm tired. Points off just because it isn't self designed. 16/20 Content - I started here, only to find out that you are considering leaving diaryland. Hell, you probably are leaving. And I totally don't feel like I'm wasting my time now. At all. But a request is a request, right? The show must go on! And then you spend five fucking entries on your stupid diary drama crap. Apparently you were a bitch to a girl and the girl found them and... yay fun times! Except not. Those five entries or so were all you explaining how wrong you were and making apologies and... Jesus christ, if you're going to start shit, have a fucking backbone about it. Yeah. You're two faced. So? Everybody is. Okay, you wrote mean things. You were angry at the time. Explain it and apologize ONCE. More than that and it's fucking repetitive. Orrr you could do drama the normal way, where you insult and make fun of the person and when they freak out you keep going. That would have been more interesting to read. I'm seeing lots of self pity. Not my cup of tea. "Oh who am I kidding. I'm a failure, always have been, and now to make myself feel better I'm going to go take a shower so I can feel pretty and drive around town like I have some sort of purpose." You try to play it off like you're better than that, but.. really now. You're on diaryland. We all know you hate yourself. It's like a prerequisite. Unless you're me. I love myself. I'm so fucking AWESOME! You wish you could be as pimp as I am. Anyway. Insert massive eyeroll here. I went and checked out your pictures -- Jesus. "the one and only pictures i ever took for assignments." Let's stop and think about EVERYTHING WRONG WITH THAT SENTENCE for a moment, shall we? Yes, we shall. First of all, it should be capitalized. I should be capitalized. Take out "one and" because it's appalling grammar. Okay, back to the writing. You're not in love, you just like being told you're hot shit. You seriously need to be less insecure. Great advice, I know. Shut up. "...I had neither taken home the art supplies (I lent him my paints and brushes) and Gabe had left his harmonica in my car." Awful grammar. It should be "I had neither taken home my art supplies nor given back his harmonica." or something like that. I don't know. All I know is, what you have, it's wrong. You're eighteen. You've had four years of high school. You oughtta know this. A little dramatic, aren't we? I think you ah... said this twice now. Nice to know that you're not redundant or repetitive at all. Bah. Also nice to know that you can actually follow through. Okay, okay, stopping the sarcasm. Why do you feel urges to buy things and post pictures of them, or tell people that you have bought them? Seriously, nobody cares about your new skirt or shoes except you, and when you grow up a little, you won't care either. They're fucking CLOTHES. Let's have some depth. And by depth, I do not mean "oh god i'm so in love with this one boy and he treats me like crap." No. that's not depth. That's called being a teenager. And a fucking stupid one at that. This right here proves that you don't love him, douche. If you loved him you'd be upset that he was in pain. You'd be hurting just because he was. But you're happy because you think you might have a chance with him again. Sorry. That's not how love works. Yeah, okay, I completely cannot relate to you. You write for your audience, not for you, and you seem to live for comments and feedback. You're mentioned your guestbook, notes, and readers more than a couple of times. That's not what a diary is supposed to be about. It's supposed to be for you, so that you can grow as a person and a writer and learn from your mistakes, and so you can look back in thirty or forty years and remember. I think you need to keep that in mind. With that said, you also have a lot of shit to learn. Things about life and love, for example, and better grammar. How to put fucking question marks when you ask a question. You're young though. You'll learn. Maybe. Actually, probably not. People never learn. And do you know why they never learn? Because they're fucking stupid. End of story. When you get some more experience (sp?) under your belt, I think your writing will improve. In the meantime though, work on your self confidence issues, and try to write for yourself. Maybe start a secret diary somewhere, one that looks like crap. Intentinally. To ahh... place emphasis on your content. Yeah, that's it. Emphasis on the content... 20/65 Would I Come Back? - Considering that you're probably shutting this down anyway, no, no I wouldn't. 0/5 Bonus - ... I got nothin'. Sorry. +0/5 Total - 44/100. I have the sudden urge to rock out to Nine Inch Nails. Did you know that they're coming out with a new album "soon"? No, probably not, because I bet you listen to crappy music. Trent Rezzman is a genius! [Yes, dolts, I know his last name is Reznor. It's a Meathead reference.] Reviewed by Amanda | ||
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