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neonstarlight.diary-x Jul. 29, 2004 -- 2:27 p.m. |
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| A quick note about this review: I guess this chick deleted her diary or something. Oh well. neonstarlight.diary-x Username - Jesus FUCKING Christ what is with all of these usernames with the word stars in them? Okay! You like stars! So what?! Augh. Sorry. This isn't really your fault; it's just a result of bad timing. First Impression - It's... lime green. Boxy. And oh, check it out, the first entry I see is locked. That doesn't look so good. Not to mention that I don't really like lime green. I like green green, bright, vibrant green, not green that looks like it's about to vomit. Bah. Errors - The writing on top of your box, "MY OXYGENS GONE" is grammatically incorrect. It should be, "MY OXYGEN'S GONE." See what I did there? Yeah. Other than that though, I think you're good. 9/10 Layout - Everybody loves puke! Actually, the only thing I really don't like about that layout is the color. But because your username is neonstarlight, I'll let it go. It works. I like the boxes and crap too, it makes it look nice and neat. I won't even penalize you for the grammatically incorrect text because you didn't design it. Credit to Skitzo Kitty. You're getting points knocked off for that though 'cause I like it better when a person does their own HTML. Shows that they have a desire to learn and understand this crap, and that they have pride in their diary and want it to be special. And a bunch of other heartwarming shit like that. 16/20 Content - Well, seeing as the latest five or so entries of yours are fucking LOCKED [evil death I hate that], and you don't appear to have very many entries, I'll start at the beginning and work my way forward. You don't put the date or time on any of your entries... Not cool. Not cool at all. I like to know when people write and things like that. I also like to know if a person has updated multiple times in a day or not. Bah. Stuff like what, exactly? Christ. Your diary reads like poetry. While I suppose this could be taken as a compliment, it isn't, because I hate most poetry with a passion. I guess you're talking about love, and the things kids say to eachother, but I can't be sure because HEY, THET'S RIGHT, you're too cool for explanations. Okay, I can understand the spaces here, but not here. What the hell? It's like sometimes spaces are used to show that things are seperate and broken, and other times they're... good and happy? No. Make up your damn mind. And those entries were right the fuck next to eachother! So okay, here's what I've figured out so far: you had a love interest I guess. Something happened there. Doi. You can't sleep. You want to be better at not sleeping than others [...] You don't like explaining anything at all ever. I get the feeling you just write half of this shit down because it sound good. You use the word "lies" too much. Stop talking about lies if you aren't going to fucking explain any of it. I've noticed that you fuck around with different styles for a couple of entries, get bored, and move on to something else. It's nice and all, but it's more an experiment with style than content... and as such, the emphasis is put on style and not content. the emphasis should ALWAYS be on content in a diary. Always always always. a good example of this is seen here. Come on now. That doesn't make any damn sense. Ooh, and now we're wtiting in all caps instead of just some. Fun times. I don't understand why this couldn't have just been two fucking sentences. Honestly. In two sentences, I proably would have liked that... but because you organized it and made it look like poetry, now I hate it. Human psychology is a beautiful thing. How disgustingly original of you. [insert massive eyeroll here] Right. Well. Now that I'm done making fun of your style AND content, let's move on to the titles, shall we? I have put together a list of the words you use in your titles and how many times you use them, so as to help you broaden your horizons and maybe stop using the word star so goddmned much. star[dust][girl][shine] [x6] in[to] [x3] my [x3] a [x2] acid[ic] [x2] bound [x2] destruction [x2] down[town] [x2] illusion [x2] insomnia [x2] kisses [x2] lies [x2] perfect[ion] [x2] silent [x2] smile[s] [x2] synthetic [x2] the [x2] to[o] [x2] [in]toxic[ating] [x2] you [x2] all almost and antidote are aspartame asphyxia be beautiful before between box bringing bumblebee by candy calamity catalyst chance cinnamon conviction commodity compassion cotton crayon day diluted doodlebug dot dreams echo enmity empty fall false forever frozen glamour gumdrop hope insert it jaded just last late let light lines lust medicated mirage moondust new nightmare nothing of paranoia peppermint pink pixiedust poisoned polariod polka pretend rain radio red seconds seen scenes scream shattered shining shooting simplicity solitary splendid stilettos streets sugarcoated sweet ten through time transience useless username vision washed waste whisper worn written yesterday And, in conclusion, you really need to learn some words that don't completely reek of teen angst. I have way too much time, Jesus Christ... 20/65 Would I Come Back? - Only if somebody went down on me. Then I'd consider it. 0/5 Bonus - Erm... none. In fact, I'm taking one off because you only have one method of contact [which I've tried twice now] and I'm not even sure if it's fucking working. Get a guestbook, Jesus. -1/5 Total - 44/100. "What did you learn in school today, Timmy?" "Today I learned that no matter how much you try to make poetry look different, it's all the same and it all sucks." "Very good, Timmy! Here's a cookie. now go play in the freeway or something, you little shit." Reviewed by Amanda | ||
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