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smalleyes Jul. 22, 2004 -- 5:36 p.m. |
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| smalleyes Username - It's not terribly interesting at first. I like that you explain it. Explanations almost always win points with me. Or, well, they would if I was still giving points out in this section. So I guess you really didn't get anything. Aaaha. First Impression - Red layout. Pink banner. It has an underlying angsty theme, but that's okay. You're a teenager. Everything has an underlying angsty theme if you really want to get into this shit. Errors - You've got a border around your pink banner. You can kill that by putting "border=0" (without the quotation marks) somewhere inside the img src tag. I'm such an HTML geek. You make some grammatical mistakes here and there, but I'm too lazy to go back and find them. Whoops. 8/10 Layout - It fits on my screen, I don't have to do an excessive amount of scrolling to get to anything, and it's more or less organized. Credit to Unique Designs. 16/20 Content - I'm starting at your most recent antry and working backwards because I'm tired of picking a place a couple months back and disovering that the journal sucks so bad that I can't even handle thirty entries. True story. You don't explain why you're upset here. Maybe it's 'cause you don't know. Oh well. I don't like not knowing that's going on. I hope that doesn't happen too much. I don't understand the point of this entry. Horoscopes. So? You're more of a cancer than a gemini. Okay. That's nice. I don't know. It just seems like fluff, and I don't really like fluff unless it's amusing fluff. I felt like you spent more time trying to make this pretty than actually saying anything. You went on for a really long time about wishes and it got redundant. More fluff. Tch. A diary should be for you. If you sound depressed, who cares? It's your diary. You're allowed to sound depressed. You probably won't win me over doing it, but you're allowed to. Your pride is about to get a kick in the face, darlin'. And just for the record, GPAs and SAT scores don't prove intelligence; they prove the ability that one has to memorize facts and repeat them at a later date. I'm just sayin'. Yarrr, I talked to a boy I liked and it was TORTURE and blah blah blah TORTUROUS and blah. Angsty teenager alert, yo. You're going to hate me for this, but, "My happiness seems to escape me when I need it the most. I can't believe how off track I just got, but so goes my mind. I'm still looking for my pot of gold, but I'm beginning to lose faith in miracles. " W. T. F. Alright, on to the criticism! I know that's what you've all been waiting for anyways. While reading your diary, I got the distinct impression that you spend a lot of time trying to find "interesting" ways to phrase shit. E.G., using the words "torturous" and "agony". I know, I know, I'm picking on your older entries [even though they're only from the beginning of the month] and that's not faaaaair. Don't worry, I'm getting to the new ones. I like the whole "check me out, I'm trying to be happy" thing you have going. I've said it before and I'll say it again; I like it when people try to better themselves or their situation. I think you're coming on too hard though. I get the impression that you're spending more time sitting around thinking about how to be happy instead of doing things that will make you happy. The fact that your 100 things about me list is in the third person pisses me off. You are not Bob Dole. You will probably never be Bob Dole. Stop trying. Overall, I don't really like your writing very much. You have this tendancy to repeat everything. It's good that you don't skip around and change topics so much within the entry, but the whole yammering on about the same idea but rearranged for seven paragraphs thing gets old really quickly. In general, I think you're trying too hard. Sometimes one can get away with it. Sometimes one can't. I feel like you're really not getting away with it, here. You might want to treat it more like a diary and less like a way to overinflate the almighty ego by showing off your wonderful use of phrases like "losing faith". I fucking hate it when people do that. 30/65 Would I Come Back? - Maybe to see if you finally found that happiness thing everybody's been raving about lately. 1/5 Bonus - My dad acts like a kid too, so I could relate to you there. +1/5 Total - 56/100. I really don't understand why people keep requesting here. You come to me and beg me to crush your egos. You masochistic fucks... Reviewed by Amanda Kaylyn's comments: Hey, I wanted to come by and say thank you for the review. I will admit when I first started asking for reviews a bunch of months ago, I picked the "easy" review sites that would just give me good scores. When I came across your site though, I knew I had to get a review from you because you really don't sugarcoat anything. You are probably one of the few reviewers that's actually told me the truth without being afraid of me, and I thank you immensely for that. You just told me things in my review that I've been denying about my writing for a while. So yeah, thanks again, and I'll be back here to read your bashes. They're pretty amusing to read. --Kaylyn I love it when people are mature about their reviews. Seriously, it completely makes my day. I think you guys should go visit her just because she had such an awesome attitude about the review. | ||
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